Facebook responsible for judgement day failure?

Well, I'm back from my brief hiatus in the mountains of Brazil awaiting the rapture, and although deeply humiliated at not being among the chosen, I find that I am in good company.

As a matter of fact, it seems that almost no one has suddenly vanished, ascended, or otherwise risen to the holy of holies.... which leads me to question, was judgement day yet another failed experiment?

Enduringly, if not endearingly, intractable - humanity has a long and tumultuous history of disappointing our creator.

At first, we were dealt with pretty heavy handedly.  Cast out of the garden, victimized in history's single most famous act of genocide, and wandering around in the desert for two generations should have taught us something, or at least one would think so..... but self preservation has proven to be an insufficient motivator, and it seems that pragmatism began to creep into the plan.

As part of the new deal (apparently arrived at after a significant period of anger management therapy and new age books) dramatic, if somewhat grisly, but still cryptically generous overtures were made, and slowly but surely some of us started paying attention.

For the next two millennia, one could get the sense that a certain entertainment value was lacking, or perhaps the embarrassment of failure kept us in the celestial closet, but for whatever reason interactions with the Creator have been pretty low key for a while.

Even though we haven't had any good laughs or even any good fights recently, we have always known that the clock was ticking, that the time to clean the fishbowl was coming. We have persistent reminders everywhere we turn that life is fragile, that one swipe of His mighty hand doth smite but good, whether it be earthquakes, tornadoes, or asteroids. So it is written. We will know the year and the season, but not the day ....  until now.

Apparently due to a clerical error on His part, despite admonishments that we would not know precisely when the last act would open, one of us ever pesky humans figured it out, and not only the day, we got it down to the exact second. Apparently, 15 times 1000 plus 412 divided by Jesus works out to 6:00 PM EST, but to no avail.

It seems that no one was qualified. What does this mean? Has He lost interest? Car trouble? Has He become obsessed with Facebook, to the point that He no longer has time for other hobbies or real relationships? (you should see His Farmville Farm - HO-LY SHIITE!)

Could this somehow be related to Sony's PSN outage, and could Anonymous have had a hand in this (or at least some fringe members?) Why wasn't this in the Wikileaks release? Could this have been some kind of a government conspiracy to stop Judgement Day? The lack of any allegations of WTO involvement in the "mainstream media" is pretty damning, if you ask me.

The nagging spectre here that nobody seems to want to talk about is that maybe the numbers just weren't good enough. After all, what would His friends say? Ten? You got Ten? 4 Billion years, unlimited resources, and Ten? Here, let me try! He would never be invited to any of the good parties after that.

....better just to take a deep breath, reassess the options, and put it back in the closet. There has to be a way to make this work. Fun pets, pfft. In your own image - right! Sea monkeys were better than this.

Still, one is inclined to wonder,  is this bad news or good news, and where do we go from here? Will we get another chance in 2012? So many questions, so few good answers.